Perfectionism Coaching with Elisa Monti
Supporting You in Releasing Pressure, Finding Ease, and Showing Up as Your Whole Self
Perfectionism often looks like “working hard” or “being responsible” from the outside—but inside, it can feel exhausting. You might set impossibly high standards, overthink every decision, or push yourself beyond your capacity in an attempt to get things “just right.” You may feel like you have to hold everything together, even when you’re overwhelmed.
Many of the people I work with describe a quiet tension that lives in the body: a sense of needing to do more, be more, or perform at a level that becomes unsustainable. They know the pressure they feel doesn’t match the reality of what’s being asked of them, yet they can’t seem to relax the internal demands.
My perfectionism coaching is designed to help you soften that inner pressure, reconnect with your natural rhythm, and build a relationship with yourself that feels kinder, safer, and more spacious.
Understanding Perfectionism Through a Trauma-Informed Lens
Perfectionism isn’t a flaw, and it isn’t a personal failing. It’s often a learned pattern—a way the mind and body adapted to feel safe, approved of, or in control.
In my work, I explore perfectionism through a compassionate, trauma-informed lens. Instead of trying to “fix” the parts of you that strive, we get curious about what those parts have been protecting you from. Perfectionism can emerge from experiences like:
Feeling overly responsible from a young age
Growing up in environments where mistakes weren’t safe
Taking on the role of the “strong one,” “good girl,” or “high achiever”
Learning that you receive love when you perform
Feeling unseen or unheard unless you excel
These patterns often live not just in thoughts, but in the body—tight shoulders, shallow breath, an underlying sense of urgency. My approach includes somatic exploration to help your system unwind these patterns gently, without force or pressure.
Signs You May Be Struggling with Perfectionism
Perfectionism can show up in many subtle ways, including:
Overthinking simple decisions
Feeling afraid to make mistakes
Constantly pushing yourself, even when tired
Difficulty resting without guilt
Procrastinating because you’re scared you won’t do something “well enough”
Struggling to feel satisfied with your achievements
Avoiding new opportunities because you fear failure
Feeling like you have to hide your emotions to stay in control
If you see yourself in any of these patterns, know that you’re not alone—and that change is possible, even if the pressure feels deeply ingrained.
My Approach to Perfectionism Coaching
My coaching process is grounded in curiosity, compassion, and connection to the body. I draw from somatic voicework, parts work, nervous system awareness, and gentle inquiry to help you create internal shifts that last.
Here’s what our work may include:
1. Exploring the Root of the Pressure
Together, we get to know the parts of you that feel responsible for keeping everything “perfect.” These parts often carry fear, tenderness, or early experiences of not feeling enough. When they feel seen rather than judged, they naturally soften.
2. Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation
Perfectionism often activates a state of internal alertness. I guide somatic exercises that help your body find more safety, grounding, and ease. This allows your mind to follow.
3. Rewriting Old Internal Narratives
Many people carry stories like “I have to earn my worth,” “I can’t make mistakes,” or “I need to be the best to be accepted.” In our work, you’ll begin to replace these stories with ones rooted in authenticity and self-trust.
4. Practicing New Ways of Relating to Yourself
Coaching isn’t just insight—it’s embodiment. You’ll learn to relate to yourself through tenderness instead of pressure, curiosity instead of criticism, and presence instead of performance.
5. Building Capacity for Rest, Play, and Imperfection
A core part of perfectionism coaching is learning how to tolerate the unfamiliar feelings of slowing down, receiving support, and being human rather than hyper-productive.
This process is gentle, spacious, and deeply individualized. I meet you exactly where you are, without expectations or judgment.
What Perfectionism Coaching Can Help You With
Clients often come to me because they’re tired of feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck in patterns that keep them from living fully. Together, we work toward shifts like:
Feeling comfortable being seen as you truly are
Letting go of people-pleasing patterns
Creating boundaries without guilt
Speaking up without rehearsing every word
Taking action without spiraling into overthinking
Resting without shame or self-judgment
Trusting your instincts rather than seeking external approval
Moving through your day with more softness and ease
You don’t need to become “less driven” or “less passionate.” Perfectionism coaching helps you stay motivated—without sacrificing your well-being.
Who This Coaching Is For
Perfectionism coaching can support you if:
You often feel like you “should” be doing more
You struggle with self-criticism or an inner voice that’s never satisfied
You feel emotionally or physically tense most of the time
You hesitate to speak up or take risks because you fear failure
You’ve spent years being the responsible one, the high achiever, or the peace-keeper
You feel disconnected from your authentic voice
You're navigating sensitivity, shame, or fear of being too much
You don’t need to identify with every example. Many people simply feel — “I’m tired of being so hard on myself.”
If that resonates, this coaching may be a supportive space for you.
What Working Together Looks Like
A Collaborative and Supportive Space
I approach our sessions with respect for your lived experience and the wisdom of your system. Rather than directing you toward predetermined goals, I help you access the part of you that already knows what you need.
Online Coaching Available Internationally
All sessions are held online, making it easy to connect from anywhere.
Personalized Tools and Practices
Our work may include grounding exercises, somatic voicework, parts dialogue, nervous system tools, or reflective practices—always tailored to your needs.
Gentle Accountability
Perfectionism often causes people to set unrealistic goals for themselves. In our work, I help you build sustainable practices that honor your capacity rather than push against it.
Why This Work Matters
Many people carry perfectionism quietly for years. It may help you appear organized, calm, or put-together—but inside, it can create chronic tension, emotional overwhelm, or a fear of being truly seen.
You deserve more than survival mode.
You deserve spaciousness, joy, and a relationship with yourself that feels steady and kind.
Perfectionism coaching isn’t about lowering your standards—it’s about supporting the parts of you that learned to cope through control, so you can move through life with more freedom and trust.
Start Your Perfectionism Coaching Journey
If you’re ready to soften the pressure, reconnect with your body, and build a new relationship with yourself, I’m here to support you.