Self-Compassion Coaching

What Self-Compassion Actually Is

Self-compassion is not “letting yourself off the hook.” It’s not weakness, laziness, or self-indulgence. Real self-compassion is strong. It’s the ability to stay present with your experience without abandoning yourself.

In simple terms, self-compassion means you learn to treat yourself the way you would treat someone you genuinely love: with honesty, care, and steadiness. It includes three essential shifts:

You notice what you’re feeling without minimizing it.
You respond with kindness rather than attack.
You remember you’re not alone in being human.

The goal isn’t to become perfect at being kind to yourself. The goal is to become more consistent at coming back to yourself—especially when things are hard.

What Self-Compassion Coaching Is (And What It Isn’t)

Self-compassion coaching is coaching. It is not psychotherapy, counseling, or clinical treatment. I’m a trauma-informed coach with therapeutic training, but I’m not a licensed clinician, and I don’t diagnose or treat mental health conditions.

Coaching offers a guided, supportive process to help you build awareness, emotional steadiness, and practical change. We focus on how you relate to yourself in the present, what patterns are shaping your choices, and what helps you feel more grounded and whole moving forward.

If you’ve tried mindset work before and it didn’t stick, coaching can be different because we don’t just work with thoughts—we work with your nervous system, your inner experience, and your capacity to stay with yourself with care.

What We’ll Work On Together

Self-compassion isn’t just something you understand. It’s something you practice, embody, and live. In our work together, we’ll focus on creating real internal safety—so kindness doesn’t feel fake or forced.

Softening The Inner Critic

We won’t try to “get rid” of your inner critic overnight. Instead, we’ll explore what it’s trying to do for you, what it’s protecting, and how you can shift your relationship with it. When the inner critic is met with understanding, it often loosens its grip.

Over time, you’ll build a new inner language that feels believable—supportive without being superficial.

Building Nervous System Steadiness

Many people can say kind words to themselves, but their body still feels braced, anxious, or unsafe. That’s why self-compassion has to include the nervous system.

We’ll use simple, accessible somatic tools to support steadiness—especially in moments when shame, overwhelm, or panic starts to rise. The goal is not to “calm down perfectly.” The goal is to help you come back into yourself with more choice and gentleness.

Strengthening Self-Trust And Boundaries

As self-compassion grows, something powerful happens: your choices become clearer. You stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable. You begin setting boundaries without collapsing into guilt. You start making decisions based on truth instead of fear.

We’ll explore what “self-trust” means for you, and how to build it in small, consistent ways.

Reclaiming Your Voice

Your voice is deeply connected to self-compassion because it reflects your truth. Many people lose their voice in subtle ways—through over-explaining, minimizing needs, staying silent, or abandoning their feelings.

I incorporate voice-based healing practices as a way to reconnect you to expression, agency, and presence. This is not voice coaching or voice training. It’s about restoring your relationship to your voice as a doorway back to you.

Elisa’s Trauma-Informed Approach To Self-Compassion

Elisa Monti’s approach is gentle, grounded, and deeply respectful of your pace. I don’t believe in forcing breakthroughs or pushing you to “get over” your feelings. I believe in building a steady inner foundation so healing becomes sustainable.

Trauma-informed coaching recognizes that many patterns—self-criticism, people-pleasing, emotional shutdown—aren’t random. They often come from adaptive survival responses. When you can understand your pattern through that lens, shame begins to soften. And from that place, change becomes possible.

In our work, you’ll receive practical tools, attuned support, and a space where you don’t have to perform your healing.

A Simple Pathway Through Self-Compassion Coaching

While every person’s journey is unique, our work often follows a natural progression:

First, we notice the pattern—how self-judgment shows up, what triggers it, and what it costs you.
Then we stabilise—building nervous system resources so you can meet your experience with less overwhelm.
Next, we practice—creating self-compassion responses that feel real, not rehearsed.
Finally, we integrate—bringing self-compassion into your relationships, boundaries, and daily life.

This is how self-compassion becomes something you live, not just something you understand.

How Coaching Works

Sessions are held online, so you can access this work from anywhere. While I may reference the East Coast or New York for context, my coaching is not location-limited and is available to clients regardless of where they live.

Coaching can be weekly or biweekly depending on your needs. Each session is a blend of reflection, practical tools, and supportive integration—so you leave with clarity and something you can actually apply.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Is A Self-Compassion Coach?

A self-compassion coach supports you in building a kinder, steadier relationship with yourself. This includes working with self-criticism, shame, people-pleasing, and nervous system dysregulation in a coaching framework—focused on awareness, skills, and real-life change.

How Is Self-Compassion Different From Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem often depends on how well you’re doing or how you compare to others. Self-compassion is more stable. It allows you to stay connected to your worth even when you’re struggling, imperfect, or in transition.

Can Coaching Help Me Quiet My Inner Critic?

Yes. Coaching helps you understand why the inner critic is there and how to respond differently when it shows up. The goal isn’t to erase your inner voice—it’s to shift from attack to support, so you can move through life with more steadiness.

Is Self-Compassion Just Being “Soft” On Myself?

Self-compassion can be tender, but it’s not passive. It helps you take honest responsibility without shame. It supports change that comes from care rather than punishment, which is often the only kind of change that lasts.

How Long Does It Take To Build Self-Compassion?

It depends on your history, your current stress level, and how ingrained your patterns are. Many people feel small shifts early on—more awareness, less spiraling—but deeper self-compassion is built through consistent practice and support over time.

Is This Coaching Available Outside New York?

Yes. All sessions are online, and I work with clients regardless of location. My work is not limited by geography or licensure.

Start Self-Compassion Coaching

If you’re tired of fighting yourself, if you’re ready to soften the inner pressure without losing your drive, and if you want support that feels trauma-informed, practical, and deeply human—self-compassion coaching may be the next step.

You don’t need to become a new person. You just need to come back to yourself with more kindness, one moment at a time.